whew. spent the morning looking at existenialism and nietchze. An existenialist seeks to find meaning soley by embracing existence. Their decisions are based on what meaning means to them... It's realizing that we are free. That is difficult to accept. We have free will of our own persons and our decisions are truly are our own. Now, we can choose to let others influence those thoughts-or not. Nietzche would call that the slave mentality, but for some, the collective is where really strength lies. Morality is a strange tool. Its okay if everyone blindly accepts its need, which is not a bad thing at all. But let's say you question the group mentality. Really, you are free to do so, and to act on your own truth.

There is no objective way to prove the truth of Christianity. The father of existenialism, Soren_Kierkegaard, was a Christian, but he called it a leap of faith, which i think is beautiful. You cannot prove it, then you can take your free will and decide to commit it to that, or you, can not. Thats your choice as well.

Some relinquish their personal freedom to "others". Some make themselves an object for others, to "look at" and influence. But then, we base our idenities on the collective. On the other and what they think of us, when really, in reality, in existence, we are beings in and of ourselves. It should matter to me more what i think of myself than what others do, because in alot of ways others are irrelvent. Maybe they dont even exist. How do i trust you arent just a figment of my imagination that i create around my for my own personal enjoyment lol. Well now i am streching it, but the original point stands.

kierkegaard said that for one to have faith in God, he must doubt that he exists. The doubt is the rational part without which faith would have no substance. I think its really important, especially with something as subjective as faith, especially if you are advocating that faith as the truth, to have questioned things and to know why you believe them. How else do you know if they are truth. Blind faith is fine, but a studied, deep and developed faith, one that has been tested through fire and turned into the brightest gold, is, to me, a far firmer foundation.

Of course your own truth is subjective and of course subjectivity to you, is truth. It is your truth. It is what rings true to you. And you can decide, if what you think is bad for you, is bad, or what is good for you, constiutes goodness. Morality can be based upon the rational conciousness of what is harmful to me, is harmful in itself. Of course, its selfish, but what else do i know is real, other than the Self. Me. My Body. My mind. My thoughts.

i am only gonna be on this earth once, provided that reincarnation isnt in fact true. while i am here i need to enjoy my experience here whatever way i decide to live my life. I only get one. So if my heart isnt settled on something, i might not do it. There are certain things i enjoy that i will do. Maybe there is a heaven. I dont think there is a hell. but if there is a heaven i would assume that living a life dedicated to the poor and those suffering under injustice would be good enough. If not, as Stef says, i would look up at whatever God exists and say, "you know what, i thought better of you." But i doubt that will happen that way anyway.

The point is.....maybe there isnt one.

Em