Definately not.


You see mini crushes, they are fun. They are hilarious. They are basically one big jokey feeling, that is more hype and conversation then real genuiness and thought.

Someday when i do fall in love it will be REAL in ever letter of the word. and if its not. Then i want, honestly to be alone. I want Love in bright burning colours, but also in soft sweet pastels. I want adventures, but i also want times of unakward, uninterupted, unnoticed silence.

To that person i want to be a diamond in the sand, one that is rough, but is worth fighting to have, being frustrated to clean up, and one that you keep in the front pocket of your shirt, the one above your heart.

I have had my share of flings, and untrustworthy glances, and although the occasional mini crush is fun to laugh about and dance lightly around...i have yet to even glipse the kind of love the will ring reminisent, and sounds so distinctly similar to the love of a savior on an ole wooden cross.

God willing i will have that at some point. Yesterday was one of my friends 47th wedding aniverery with his wife. That to me, is REAL, Strong, VIBERENT, beautiful love.

I will settle for no less.....



HA. mini crushes. a smudge of the picture of a happy ever after.


Melissa Russell.

once upon a time i pretty much had the perfect day . It began with being suddenly overwhelmed by church. I just couldnt get inside. So i drove my car down some sad roads i was trying to redeem with new-ness. I drove under the train bridge, and down that road that leads to the random church in the middle of nowhere, remeber? That day, what came next will always be with me. But this new day, this sun shining, peacefully wonderful day, has a next part too. I continued on my travels down my own path, off the course you had choosen for us and abandoned so long ago, and i ended up.............




in claremont.


little tiny claremont.

I then met some pretty rad friends in a church with the shortest pews ever. Little children banging on drum sets, poking the piano and singing songs of joy. I watched him play--it was pretty beautiful. Next on to salmon snapple apple slamon snapple grill cheese. Mmm. Then a 10 k walk through the real world, and back on my way.

But now i am writing a song about asking questions with answers i dont need to know. Thats what i am now trying to avoid.

Melissa sharon.